During the course of a conversation, or in the middle of a Roleplaying game, or in an e-mail, I sometimes come across little gems of composition that make me laugh, or that give me a new way of looking at the world. Like Haiku, a good Quote should cut straight to the heart of the matter, and it should make one think.
All of these quotes are used completely without permission and I reproduce them only to share the delight they have given me. I try to attribute authorship, where known. If anyone objects to me quoting them on this site, please contact me and I will remove the quote in question.
Roleplaying Pearls of Wisdom
Quotes - Western Haiku
Great Moments in Roleplaying
"My problem is that RL keeps tossing stuff onto the burner. Pretty soon, it's all going to work out and I'm either going to have a really nice stir fry, or everything will catch fire and I will die."
"... the kind of pocket calculator that comes up with a different answer if the sums involved are in used notes ..."
"As well as playing the fiddle and conducting, my hand can also hold money."
"We're going to need a blowtorch and more peanut butter."
"... the club remains a popular and practical weapon wherever intelligent species gather."
"Outside a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside a dog, it’s too dark to read."
“Oh man, conquering the world is so hard!”
“The rain gods were angry. Or happy, or careless; never could tell about gods.”
“Bartenders tend to get nervous when people bring crew-served weapons to a knife fight.”
“It is preferable to hear the flatulence of camels than the prayers of fishes.”
“Stupidity got us into this … why can’t it get us out?”
“Bard. Can’t fight. Can’t sneak. Can dance a little.”
“What you have [are guys] in Tough Armor bearing Weapons of Mass Character Re-Rolling.”
“When in doubt, empty the magazine.”
“Our Mission Statement:
“This demonstrates the advantage of being perceived as devious: No one can tell when you’re being devious or just stupid.”
“Of course, since Gary [Gygax] is now DMing the universe, we can expect life to be more interesting. (I'm personally hoping for a Mind Flayer invasion).”
John: “With such a large party I will need to provide a suitable challenge. Something big and spikey, perhaps?”
“Hollywood has led us to believe mail shirts were sold at the local Wal-mart for 2 eggs.”
“Strangely, curiosity appears to kill only cats.”
"The worst thing about being surrounded by morons is realizing that somehow they managed to surround you."
“[Soldiers] are always whining about the dangers of being killed. They are such whimps now … I don’t think there is any point in having wars if that’s how you’re going to behave.”
“You know, I like cats -- and lesbians -- but I really hate the Aslan more with each new reincarnation of the Trav setting/rules. Their whole Cat People of Mongo (Wherein It Rains) thing is one detraction, but what really puts me off is this whole cod-samurai shtick that's been accreting over years. All this freakin' "honor!" yelping - it's like some horrible Tekumel session staged with stuffed animals swiped from a Disney gift shop.”
“Bards. Sometimes useful. Always annoying.”
“Those would be good ideas if you weren't my *frakkin'* *GM*! Somebody bring me my battledress with the big flamethrowers!”
Thanks to Berka at The Zhodani Base for the background nebula on this page.
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